I got an email from a woman who also found her father, and she allowed me to share it with you:
I read your touching story on your web site. Thanks for sharing such a private moment with the public. I found it in a search.
I am 36 and decided last year (when I turned 35) to venture out and finally contact my biological father. He has turned out to be a wonderful friend. We really hit it off– I felt the same way you did— never realizing I had a void in my life, until I actually contacted him. It definitely changed me.
I too was absolutely excited when he responded back to my initial letter. It has now been a year since we first met. My story is a little more complicated than yours. I was curious, did your Dad tell his other children that he had another daughter out there before you contacted him? That is where my story gets complicated. My Dad did not…(Although his wife knew about the secret.) I have two sisters— 22 and 24 that have no idea they have a 36 year old sister… I was born out of wedlock— my Mom did not want to marry him— they went their separate ways. About 6 years after I was born he married his current wife (still married)— years later they had children together, my two sisters. He always wanted to tell them… but since we were not in contact, and I was later adopted (with his consent) by my Mom’s husband, my adoptive Father— he felt it was best to live the subject alone. Now he has this big skeleton in the closet. He really wants to tell them but is so afraid of what they will think of him. His wife is nice, but a little reserved with the situation. She really offers no opinion on the subject. She is probably more of a negative force in the situation. I have reassured him that we are in the 21st Century— they will be more upset with him if he continues to have a relationship with me in secret— continuing his lie. He needs to tell them. I am a true believer in the old phrase, “The truth will set you free.” Anyway, I was just wondering if you had any insight on my little situation.
Again, I love him— he has been wonderful to me. I just hate being a secret. I have extended family that I cannot meet until he comes clean. My Uncles. One thing is certain, he realizes what a big mistake he made leaving his daughter— he made no excuses. We both look at our situation as we cannot change the past, let’s embrace the future. To me embracing the future includes being honest with everyone.
Thanks for reading.
Laura in Phoenix, AZ